Elephant in the Room

Jan 16, 2020

I've been neglecting this blog for a while, because it's hard to set my mood to write..

Many things happened since the last time I posted on this blog, I have returned to Surabaya again, been living my life in this city, I took a month break from the office because of my health condition (did I ever mention that I was diagnosed with hyperthyroid?) in the early 2019, appointed in the new position, been meeting a lot of new people that turns out to be friends and many things.Yeah, life's been good.

But as I'm spending my 2019 and early 2020, as I learn how to take things maturely, you know, learning to control my emotion, my ego, I started to see different light of friends that I have in my life. There are some friends that I decided to let go for the shake of peace of mind. This begin with the elephant in the room. As you getting older, what's being your priority has shifting. Some decide to pursue their career, some decide to get married, and some choose to stick to their status quo. And as you get older you don't need more drama in your life. In my case, I try to solve my problems by just addressing the problem itself and try to find a way to solve the problem. These days, when I am in conflict with others, I don't even think about who's the winner or loser, who's the smarter or the stupid one, but just how to solve the problem without creating more problems. But unfortunately there are some that keep the problem, they don't want to talk about it yet choose to ignore me and create their own assumption. It pissed me off. If you u see me as your friend , would it be better to talk things to my face instead of talking behind my back? We're not freaking teenager anymore. 

But after a long discussion with myself and other friends that I trust, I come up with the decision to let go those who don't give any peace in my life. I come to term that it would be better for me let go so I can have others who will accept me for who I am. I believe that friendship build with trust and acceptance, where you can be who you are, where it allows you to learn through mistake but still have your safety net, that will respect each other, help each other see things through different perspective, to tell you if you make mistake and always have forgiveness in store for you, and to support you to reach your dream. 

My friendship in 2019 and early 2020 is not smooth, big decision should be made so I can live my life peacefully. I hope yours will be better than mine.

xo,

C